The pill nobody wants to swallow... but makes life so much better!

Buckle up bc we're coming in HOT! This might get a little triggering, but I promise, we will leave you with an action plan to start closing the gap on who you are and who you *really* want to be. You with me? Alright! get ready to swallow a hard pill… 😜 💊

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Nobody wants to hear this especially when someone is treating us badly... But, the truth of the matter is people treat us the way they do (often from a subconscious place) because we’ve either given them a green light on certain ways of relating or they have simply observed our own self-deprecating tendencies. #truth

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Yikes… I get it! You probably didn’t want to hear that! Not to worry...

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Let me break it down for you as the concept is actually quite simple...

People show up in our lives and reflect back to us the relationship we have with ourselves. Without the  awareness that this is happening, we use the judgments and projections of others as a reason to validate and reinforce all the sh*itty things we already tell ourselves...

It’s the most basic form of mental f*ckery we do with others.

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“He/she/they must be treating me this way because I’m unlovable.”

“I’m constantly being taken advantage of... it’s like I’m a target for people to walk all over.”

“I never feel like he/she/they listens to me... they don’t care about how I feel or who I really am.”

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We hear ALL of the above often in our sessions with our clients and usually in the beginning stages of Life Camp participants (notice I said beginning, wink, wink)....

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Let's pause the record for a second...

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If you’ve been hanging out with me and Ruby for a while, you know that we’re all about personal accountability for the lives we are living (and, if you are new here… welcome).

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Let's take the mental concept of personal accountability and put it into action right now. Think of a situation or relationship in your life where you feel disrespected, unloved, rejected, taken advantage of- maybe even abused. Got it? Now comes the courageous part... while considering this situation or relationship, be willing to ask yourself, reflect, meditate on or journal some of these questions:

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Where do I do this to myself?

Do I mentally beat myself up?

Do I criticize my every move?

Do I look in the mirror with disappointment?

Do I second guess and doubt myself frequently?

Am I constantly comparing myself to others?

Do I ignore my thoughts and feelings as they arise?

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We know this is an unpopular opinion, especially for those who have been victims of violence and abuse (both of us are included in this convo), but we wouldn't be writing about it if didn't know it was not just important, but game changing as well! Here's the deal, even in this most manipulative and coercive of experiences, we are still co-creating. Our real freedom and personal power come form learning to be accountable for the ways in which we contribute (no matter how big or small) to the contrast/problems/challenges we are in the midst of.

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Once we’re willing to take brave action towards personal accountability, living life with intention can begin and personal freedom can be discovered and LIVED!

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The truth is almost every single one of us has experienced victimization, especially as children in this life but we don’t have to live there forever. It doesn’t have to be our story, our identity or our home. In fact, we have the power to course correct patterns of victimization and compounded trauma at any point we choose. This can be a personal journey or a place where you reach out for help, support, coaching or therapy. Sometimes we need a little help and that is a good thing! (We offer MANY excellent free and paid resources to enliven your journey to accountability, confidence and clarity because we truly believe the world thrives when we each start living from our healing integrated selves.)

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So ask yourself, how are you teaching people to treat you in your relationships? If you don't love the answer, that's ok, it's simply a sign to pause, reconsider and start down a different path.

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So much love,

Star & Ruby

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PS: When you're ready, here are a few ways we can support you closing the gap on who you are and who you want to be...

Feeling alone in left field on your healing journey? We've got you covered. Life Camp enrollment is open now, click here for all the details to jumpstart your ability to heal, integrate and confidently thrive no matter what you've been through!

Need a little inspiration? We've prepared loads of great free content just for you! 

​Click here to go to our youtube channel

Going through a breakup or not sure if it's time to make some changes in your relationship? Grab our workshop, The Breakup Guide and get a 90 minute video deep dive with us, a workbook with journal prompts and exercises as well as a guided meditation and heart opening yoga flow!

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Ruby & Star| LIFE CAMP

​@therubychristine | @starrosebond