Stop saying this about mental health...

Recently one of our posts on social went viral and gathered A LOT of traction... it's a subject near and dear to our hearts, professions and (surprise, surprise) edgy with a healthy dose of questioning status quo. Grab a cuppa and hunker in... this is going to be a good one!

Please stop preaching “Mental health should be free.”

Mental health should be accessible. There’s a big fking difference between the two with a handful of oppressive beliefs, pedagogy and tradition standing between them. Let's explore what we mean with a little history, statistics and anecdotal evidence.

Did you know that in the U.S. over 70% of therapists identify as female? The coaching industry is also known for being saturated with similar statistics… Isn’t it interesting that a sector of business primarily governed by women is expected to be offered for free or at a low cost?

Another interesting phenomenon... it's often only once we are in a place of desperation that we typically recognize the necessity for mental health; yet when we demand it for free, we reinforce and devalue the skill, effort and expertise of what it means to conduct emotional labor. 

Why is that you ask?

Well, many people don’t actually value the facilitation of mental health.

Remember, not so long ago, women were PROPERTY... 1870!!! Women were owned, their work wasn't valued, it was expected... for FREE. It wasn't even until the mid-1970s that a woman could access a line of credit independently without a man to cosign her application (sadly not entirely true for women of color in the 70's... that took even longer)!

Are you making the connection?

Right now, the prioritization of mental health on a societal level is trending big-time (which we love) but until we start to placing value on the people who choose to master this craft and be in service to others, we will continue to perpetuate the dissonance between these two concepts.

I’ve spent the last 15 years of my life mastering my skillset as a therapist and trauma informed coach... Ruby 20 years as a mentor and trauma informed coach. We've paid for school, trainings, certifications, put in countless hours honing our craft.

What we are able to accomplish in 3-9 months with our Life Camp (and personal) clients typically takes years in a traditional therapeutic setting. That’s why we charge what we charge and feel damn good about it.

Our entire careers have been and continue to be dedicated to showing up for others in pure presence, utilizing our skills and expertise to help people overcome what they view as the impossible. Most people can’t even get an uninterrupted, focused 10 minutes with their best friend or partner, never-mind an hour where you dedicate your entire self to believing in the health and healing of the person in front of you.

Ice T said it best, “don’t hate the playa, hate the game.”

We live in a society founded in structural oppression and disparity with collective and individual trauma weaving us together into a tapestry of pain, addiction, disconnection and perceived limitations. That is the game we are dealing with…

We disrupt ALL that MF noise and bring hope, love and possibility back into the lives of those who have forgotten.

Regardless of the form it shows up in...

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Dysfunctional patterns
• Limiting beliefs
• Addiction
• Relationship drama
• Low self-esteem etc.

I GOT YOU!

WE GOT YOU!

OKAY!

We're not quite done yet though! You are gonna love this next mic drop... 🤯

You already know one of our core beliefs and values:

HEALING & WELLBEING IS OUR BIRTHRIGHT

In addition to healing, abundance is also our birthright. Meaning just by your very presence on earth, you were born worthy of healing, wellbeing and abundance... you don't have to do anything or prove anything to be worthy.

BUT! When we inadvertently propagate a message that denies that very concept (ie mental health should be free), we fall victim to the pedagogy of the oppressed.

This process starts when we stop treating mental health providers and coaches like Band-Aids.

We are activists, change agents, midwives of possibility and most importantly, humans too with a right to abundance and reciprocity.

No more broke-a**, wounded healer story— that got old a long time ago.

Mental health should and needs to be accessible!!!! All while simultaneously working towards remedying the very constructs, barriers, beliefs and tangible issues that perpetuate the very problems that place our society in a chronically compromised and traumatized state while devaluing humans who do the important life changing work.

So instead of demanding for free mental health—

👉🏽 Support businesses that offer pro-bono work, scholarships, sliding scales and alternative funding options. (Like ours!)

☎️ Lobby for public health to prioritize mental health in our schools, workplaces, corrections and communities. (Mental health has always been ancillary but never at the forefront.)

💰 Support increased wages and insurance coverage for mental health providers, coaches, case managers and therapists. This will reduce burnout, high turn over rates and the low morale of an industry that is overworked, underpaid, exhausted and defeated.

✨ NORMALIZE, promote and discuss mental health cross culturally— make this culture shift.

🤜🏾 Push for policy and legislation that seeks to rehabilitate instead of incarcerate

🔧 Recognize emotional labor is a REAL thing and for many— a gift.

Try giving someone 10 minutes of your undivided attention without checking your phone, interrupting, making the conversation about you, placing judgment or sympathizing to the point of enmeshment. This by all means is not an example of therapy but it is a small glimpse into what many of us do for eight hours a day while simultaneously employing a plethora of tools and skills that ultimately encourage people to be happy they’re alive.

We need to learn to step away from these contradictory narratives. It’s inappropriate to preach and desire abundance at the exploitation of others. That is not freedom, that’s not love and it's certainly not health.

Go out and hug a coach, therapist, case manager or mental health provider today and tell them thank you... then go call your congress member and be an agent of change!

Stay gold,

Star & Ruby