Roe v Wade Overturned - We are shocked, enraged and overwhelmed with grief, here's why.

You probably don’t know that I actually recently just had an abortion in January. My Lyme medication threw my cycle off and I ended up with an unexpected pregnancy. Interestingly enough the day after I found out I was pregnant, I tested positive for Covid and became very ill and three days after that I came down with shingles on top of it all. I could not get an appointment in my area for 2 months due to limited access— this was inane to me. I had to wait two weeks to ensure I was Covid negative before I could take a trip to Raleigh to access an abortion.

I remember crying on the way home not for myself but for all the other women who may not have a ride to Raleigh (or wherever), or maybe the strength to walk through a hysterical crowd of pro-lifers screaming egregious things as you walk into the clinic or a loving friend/family member to stand by them. My heart broke for those women that I knew existed.

I on the other hand was blessed to have a loving and supportive mother by my side and friends who sent flowers, loving texts, get well gifts etc. I was too early for a surgical procedure so I aborted at home with my 13 year old son in the other room. Without shame, guilt or stigma— not only did I tell my son, I normalized it for him as well.

This conversation is NECESSARY for children.

THIS is how we breakaway from stigma, this is how we dismantle the patriarchy and this is how we shift culture and open up the conversation that was once solely relegated to women but now requires the essential involvement of everyone.

Nevertheless, January was very fucking dark for me…….

 Blk.native on Instagram eloquently discusses in a recent post, the colonization of women’s health, more importantly abortion and the detriment it has had on the lives of everyone. Terms like “murder, “sin” and “humane” were never part of this conversation until Christianity. Women have literally been bearing children as well as terminating pregnancy not only effectively but respectively since the beginning of time.

WOMEN ARE THE GATE KEEPERS OF LIFE…

And we always have been… In fact, for thousands and thousands of years women were revered for our bodily wisdom along with the medicines and the skills we utilized to ensure the availability of these practices.

Having to make the decision to follow through with a pregnancy (or terminate) is unique to each woman and not everyone has some trauma story attached to it.

For some, it’s an inconvenience or simply a matter to be dealt with. For others, it is the hardest decision they’ll ever make in their life. Regardless of how one feels about the situation we need to stop pairing the demand for women’s rights with sob stories and victimizing narratives.

Whether I am raped, educated, simply not interested, sick, confused, overwhelmed, poor, selfish— whatever, it is OUR choice to proceed as we see fit.

Bringing life into this incredibly complicated and dysfunctional world is an equally complicated decision process to weigh out. These are not only our bodies but it is also:

• Our future
• Our health
• Our mental health
• Our security
• Our relationship to society and culture
• Our ability to contribute
• Our impact
• Our opinion
• Our relationship to Source/“God”
• Our self-care
• Our voices
• Our community
• Our eco-system and environment
• Our economy
• Our privilege
• Our right
• Our pleasure
• Our agency and autonomy
• Our connection to the masculine
• Our goals and aspirations
• Our intentions
• Our sexuality
• Our presence

And most importantly...

Our mother fucking choice!

Bringing life into the world affects EVERYTHING and often the weight of that responsibility is primarily bestowed upon women —we can thank the patriarchy and other systems of oppression for taking the sacred human experience of giving birth and raising children and corrupting the process to the point in which it is often experienced as enslavement for so many women— especially those who have less access to resources and already existing marginalized communities.

I have no answers right now to our current state of affairs as I am shocked, enraged and overwhelmed with grief that we as a society let this happen.

My restraint 🔥🔥🔥🔥 is unparalleled right now compared to how I feel inside. I do trust however that movement is underway ultimately in the direction we all intend to go.

I know sometimes what we want doesn’t always come in the package that we hoped for.

🖤 THINGS WE CAN DO 🖤

• Stop using detrimental language that propagates a message of oppression and shame. No one should feel guilty or ashamed for choices they make with their own body.

• Normalize abortion everywhere with everyone. #FACTS: 1 out of 4 women in the US will have an abortion before the age of 45.

• Stop pushing the “third trimester” rhetoric. Ex.) “I’m all for abortion for as long as it’s humane and not during the third trimester.” That is a bitch slap to the entire movement. And it fuels a message of misinformation. Only 1% of women who receive abortions are doing it in the third trimester. And common sense tells you they were probably planning on the pregnancy and connected to the pregnancy all along and for whatever reasons had to make a very difficult choice. So fuck off with that argument.

• Meditate….. a lot. But be angry. Let anger be a motivating factor towards change.

• Wrap your men into the fucking fold… especially OUR boys.

• Organize, protest, shut shit the fuck down. Know your rights when protesting, learn them here.

• Take care of yourself and each other. This is just the beginning of what’s to come. Contraceptive and gay marriage are next.

• Look for wisdom, education and inspiration from our elders, women of color whom have been battling the desecration of their reproductive rights since the start of this country and to the medicine makers around the world.

• Don’t waste your time arguing with ignorant assholes on social media. We need your energy elsewhere.

• Pray —use art, poetry, music and dance— whatever your medium is... it’s time to get more creative than we ever thought possible.

• And just because, tell all the people in your life with uteruses how much you love and appreciate them. Maybe give out some more hugs. We all could use that right now.

So much love,

Star (and Ruby)

🖤 Abortion is normal photo credit goes to: AMSA Art & Appreciation for Abortion Providers Project.